"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

Fuck you, Ben.

This morning, I feel nauseous, not healthy. And wise? I'm barely capable of formulating coherent sentences, let alone words of wisdom.

I'd like to rant about protestant work ethic jerkoffs and their self-important emphasis on constant labor as the way to salvation...but I'm too tired to do it...because I was up so goddamn early.

See...that's how they get you.

Weber

How would you pronounce that word?

Me too.

But here in Waterloo, everyone says "weee-br"...

I went to the Taco Bell on Weber Street after work today...
"So that's one bean burrito?"
"Yeah, with extra cheese."
"OK...would you like to donate a dollar to stop world hunger?"
Did she really just ask me that?
"Umm...that seems a bit ambitious."
"It's just one dollar."
"So where does the money go?"
She seemed confused.
"I don't really know."
"Well, who gets the money? Does it go to you?"
"No!"
"Someone must be collecting this money...what kind of group is it?" I thought it was a legitimate question. My tax dollars are already being misspent in two countries.
"Look, I don't know anything about it...just forget it."
"I was just wondering...I mean, you asked me-"
"You didn't have to be a jerk about it."
Now I am kind of a jerk, but there's NO WAY she could have known that. I just wanted a burrito.

I can't believe I'm about to write this, but...I miss the 8-mile Taco Bell.

So what's my problem with National Punctuation Day?

Many people "write graceless prose not deliberately but because they are gripped by the idea that writing is good only when it is free of errors that only a grammarian can explain. They approach a blank page not as a space to try out new ideas, but as a minefield to cross gingerly. They creep from word to word, concerned less with their readers’ understanding than their own survival.”

- Joseph Williams & Ira Nadel

So there. After two e-mails (TWO! A new record), I felt the need to defend what I had thought was a virtually unassailable position.