monologue

"I will not relate to you and you will not identify with me. I will give you no input and will expect no feedback. This will not be a learning experience, nor will it be a growth period. There will be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, and no nurturing. We will not establish a relationship. We will not have any meaningful dialogue, and we definitely will not spend any 'quality time' together. We will not be supportive of one another, so that we can get in touch with our feelings in order to feel good about ourselves. And if you're one of those people who needs a little space, please.. GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE."

- George Carlin

Giving some thought to band/audience interaction lately. Fronting a band has become an exercise in unwitting self-parody, filled with empty rhetoric and recycled cliches. At CMW this weekend, I noticed just how desperately each performer tried to make that elusive connection:

"We rock! We roll! We kick ass! Are you ready to rock, roll, and kick ass with us?"

Blah blah blah. Or, worse yet:

"This is a song about my painful pain, and a metaphorical knife that cuts deep inside my pain. I painfully encourage you all to feel my pain."

It's difficult to front a band without sounding completely contrived and pandering on stage. I always kind of liked the idea of challenging, even consciously alienating the audience. Bands are generally expected to bond meaningfully with their audience; this kind of irks me. This is not to say I don't enjoy playing for crowds. It's just that some nights, I don't wanna be your monkey. I almost resent the idea that I am expected to leave people with anything.

Bands: Instead of ranting about what you plan to do (rock, roll, brood, pontificate, etc.), take a cue from Carlin and tell the audience what you will NOT do. Refreshingly honest, it would be.