Printer, why must you antagonize me so?

That noise - that godawful noise. It's downright apocalyptic, a cacophony of cringeworthy screeches and buzzy grinding sounds, harsh and unsettling, like nails on a chalkboard for the digital age. The message is crystal-clear: Something is really, really fucked. What monumental catastrophe could possibly have brought about such a hullabaloo?

You need paper.