sticker rage
As I was cut off, I had time to read this bumper sticker on the back of the pickup truck in front of me:
Work is for people that don't know how to fish.
Apparently, so are fucking blinkers.
Bumper stickers seem so much more annoying when stuck on a vehicle that is making your life miserable. It's ridiculous enough that someone decided other drivers would be interested in the wit and wisdom affixed to his/her bumper. It's even more frustrating when these jerks endanger my life on the road. If, during a perilous near-accident, I catch a glimpse of their special adhesive message, I reach a whole new level of pissed off. Today, I actually contemplated sacrificing my own vehicle for the greater good and running this prick off the road. It's not enough that I have to stare at a swerving car; I have to endure the "cute" little sayings and pseudo-philosophies stuck to its bumper???
No one cares that your kid is an honors student, or that your kid beat up an honors student, or if you're pro-life or vegetarian or anything else. At that point, you are simply IN THE WAY, and I hate you categorically, since people tend to hate anything that blocks their path or slows them down. You are the nameless, faceless car in front of me, a part of the problem, and, at that moment, the instrument of my oppression. A sticker just forces me into the uncomfortable position of generalizing and stereotyping. Now I don't like to pigeonhole a group of people. I'm sure that some anglers are perfectly capable as motorists. But at the moment of near-impact, my brain concocted something along the lines of:
Fucking fishermen need to learn how to drive.
Work is for people that don't know how to fish.
Apparently, so are fucking blinkers.
Bumper stickers seem so much more annoying when stuck on a vehicle that is making your life miserable. It's ridiculous enough that someone decided other drivers would be interested in the wit and wisdom affixed to his/her bumper. It's even more frustrating when these jerks endanger my life on the road. If, during a perilous near-accident, I catch a glimpse of their special adhesive message, I reach a whole new level of pissed off. Today, I actually contemplated sacrificing my own vehicle for the greater good and running this prick off the road. It's not enough that I have to stare at a swerving car; I have to endure the "cute" little sayings and pseudo-philosophies stuck to its bumper???
No one cares that your kid is an honors student, or that your kid beat up an honors student, or if you're pro-life or vegetarian or anything else. At that point, you are simply IN THE WAY, and I hate you categorically, since people tend to hate anything that blocks their path or slows them down. You are the nameless, faceless car in front of me, a part of the problem, and, at that moment, the instrument of my oppression. A sticker just forces me into the uncomfortable position of generalizing and stereotyping. Now I don't like to pigeonhole a group of people. I'm sure that some anglers are perfectly capable as motorists. But at the moment of near-impact, my brain concocted something along the lines of:
Fucking fishermen need to learn how to drive.
posted by Pj at 1:31 PM
4 Comments:
"I catch of glimpse of their special adhesive message" - typo.
Also, you do have a habit of driving rather close to the cars in front of you...
How many editors do I have?
This could be useful, actually; perhaps one of you wants to proofread my thesis?
Thanks again.
LOL...writing/proofing is my job, so I could help you out there. I normally charge $10/page, but because you're so wordy and I'd waste a lot of time consulting my dictionary - $15... ;-)
"A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'"
-- Demetri Martin
Also: I've offered to proof your thesis, jerkwad.
Also, also: *prod*
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