soundtrack to my life, volume II

Moving from sunny days to sleepless nights...

Do songs change your life? Probably not. But my confusing existence makes much more sense with a soundtrack. I find it hard to imagine a world without these songs. I need them, and will continue to need them...at least until I get my own theme music.

Every Night - Screeching Weasel

Anthem for a New Tomorrow? More like anthem for self-defeating insomniacs. I can remember countless nights driving around at three in the morning cranking this song louder than any rational person should. The guitars absolutely scream. This is no more evident than at the beginning of the tune, when they literally explode over the top of the first line:

I'm not feeling human anymore

The guitars are so high in the mix, it's nearly impossible to make out the vocals unless you crank the volume. There is so much gain and distortion that the chord changes are barely discernable. The best way to appreciate "Everynight", I've found, is by turning up a cheap car stereo, as loud it goes, and trying to sing over it. My ears are still ringing from this song. Musically and lyrically, it may as well be entitled "Overly Active Brain". I don't generally listen to it unless I am personally not feeling human anymore. It's neurotic as hell, and not just lyrically (each night I document the things I've done/the pointless points I've made for stupid reasons/I will analyze everything/and make myself count the ways I fucked up today)...the music itself makes me skittish. Punk rock, self loathing, and insomnia (which, I suspect, are connected in more ways than one might think) come together, lock you in a room, and make you want to scream as loudly as the ear-bleeding guitars. Brilliant song, and, thankfully, one that I don't listen to much anymore. Listening as I write...people, places, moments come streaming back into my head with this song. It's not a matter of second-guessing myself. It's the sheer futility of it all. The song is called every night for a reason. It's not about some random issues you're dealing with, or even about the inescapable ones with which you always deal. It is the very act of grappling with those issues, and it is the act of screaming about it that matters. When that outro builds and then fades, you almost feel as if you might finally fall asleep. Almost.